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Cultivating Positive Self-Care

nellashepherdson

All self-care is positive right? We all think we know what it should look like, but does it actually line up with the benefits this seemingly simple practice should? Is Self-care beneficial? No, it’s necessary, fundamental even; to recharge, find balance, and stay grounded amidst life's challenges. But here's the catch: self-care is not one-size-fits-all. What works for someone else might not work for you, and that's perfectly okay. The beauty of self-care lies in its diversity—it’s all about finding what makes you feel good, not what you think it should look like based on others' expectations. From reading a great novel to getting a new tattoo, self-care comes in countless forms. Understanding self-care isn’t just about spa days or meditation (though they can be!). It could be diving into your family history, a challenging workout, or even spending time on creative hobbies. The point is to discover what resonates with you personally.


We live in a fast-paced world where responsibilities, stress, and commitments can weigh us down. It’s no wonder many people feel stretched thin and burnt out. By integrating self-care into your daily routine, you allow yourself the time to reconnect with what brings you peace, happiness, and energy. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Much like the advice to "put on your own oxygen mask before helping others" during a flight emergency, self-care equips you to handle life’s challenges with resilience and calm. Without it, you risk exhaustion, frustration, and emotional burnout. Self-care is deeply tied to mental, emotional, and physical health. When you actively seek out things that replenish your energy, you’ll notice a stronger sense of balance and well-being. And the key word here is “actively.” Self-care doesn’t just happen—you have to choose it.


It's About What Works for You!


The most important thing to remember about self-care is that it’s personal. There’s no universal "right way" to do it. You might see self-care trends like bubble baths or guided meditations on social media, but if those don’t bring you joy or relaxation, they’re not your self-care. Here’s the freedom: self-care can be absolutely anything that makes you feel recharged and happy. Below I've listed some of the less conventional examples wellbeing activities, demonstrating that it’s all about your preferences, not societal expectations.


Getting a tattoo or a piercing is self-care. Yes, you read that right! For some people, body art can be an empowering form of self-care. The process of getting a tattoo or having a piercing, selecting meaningful designs, and having something permanent to express individuality or mark significant moments in life can feel liberating and cathartic. A tattoo isn’t just ink; it’s a reminder of your strength, your journey, or something that brings you joy. A nose ring isnt just a metal hoop; it could have significance that connects you to something higher than yourself.  Whether it symbolizes a personal transformation or acts as a creative outlet, choosing to alter your body in a way that feels significant is a bold form of self-care. It’s a reminder that you’re in control of your body and your story.


Reading and escaping into different worlds is self-care and a personal favourite pastime of mine. For book lovers, nothing feels as restorative as losing yourself in a great story. When life feels chaotic, reading allows you to escape into another world, explore new ideas, and shift your focus away from stress. The mental engagement of a good book can be a form of relaxation that reduces anxiety and promotes a sense of calm. And here’s the best part—you get to choose what you read! Whether it’s an inspiring self-help book, a fantasy novel, or even a gripping mystery, reading what you enjoy (rather than what you think you should be reading) is an act of self-care.


Others may find self-care in unexpected places—like researching family history. This could mean diving into genealogy or simply talking with older family members to understand your roots. For me personally, this has been remarkably transformative. I have always been interested in Germanic Paganism and the rich Norse pantheon of Gods and spirits, but all my dreams came true one day when I had an Ancestry DNA test and found I had a load of Norwegian in me! It’s a meaningful and often surprising way to feel connected, not just to your ancestors but to yourself. Researching your family’s past can offer a deeper sense of belonging and identity. By learning about where you come from, you may gain insights into your own habits, values, and life patterns, which can be incredibly fulfilling. This pursuit offers mental stimulation and an emotional connection, making it a unique form of self-care.


There are also many creative outlets if that’s what floats your boat. Creative expression; whether through painting, drawing, writing, or photography, these outlets can be a form of therapy. Engaging in a creative process can reduce stress, increase feelings of fulfilment, and even help process emotions. Like all forms of self-care, creativity is about finding what clicks with you. Not everyone finds relaxation in traditional art forms. Maybe you love creating playlists, organizing spaces, or even trying new recipes (if my Nonna is anything to go by, yes cooking is an art form)—whatever allows you to tap into your creative energy counts


But even if those don’t fit the bill, last on my list is moving your body for mental health. One of the most common (and scientifically backed) forms of self-care is exercise. Moving your body, whether through yoga, weightlifting, running, or dancing, releases endorphins that improve your mood and reduce stress. But here’s the thing: the type of exercise matters. It should be something you enjoy. There’s no point in forcing yourself into a fitness routine that feels like a chore. Hate running? Try cycling. Yoga not your thing? Maybe weightlifting is. It’s all about finding movement that feels good to you, and more importantly, that leaves you feeling recharged, not depleted.


Why Self-Care Isn’t Always What You Think It Should Be.


It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of what self-care should be. Social media can paint a picture of perfectly lit yoga poses, luxury skincare products, or quiet meditative mornings. While those things are great if they work for you, they don’t define self-care for everyone. The truth is self-care is as unique as you are. Sometimes it could mean saying “no” to plans when you need a break or challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone. The most important thing is to listen to your own needs. Don’t force yourself into a routine because it’s trending or because you feel like it’s something you should do. Instead, focus on finding activities and practices that genuinely make you feel good, regardless of how unconventional they might seem.


So how do you go about creating your own self-ritual? Its one of those things that’s super easy but also really hard for some people because it means sitting down and being selfish for a bit. It’s about having the courage to look within and experiment: reflect on what makes you feel recharged, experiment with different forms of self-care, listen to your body and your mind and don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t feel pressured to fit into someone else’s idea of self-care. Take the time to explore and discover what resonates with you. Ultimately, the best self-care routine is the one that aligns with your unique needs, values, and passions.



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